What Would Karl Rove Do About SCHIP?

Comedy Central's Indecision 08 asks what would Karl Rove do about the SCHIP veto?

Here's the list...

Attack opponent's strength: Fund a Swift-Boat Wet Nurses for Truth commercial: "Children are the leading cause of pedophilia. Why do the Democrats want more inappropriate touching?"

Leak information: Tell a Time magazine reporter that most of these children are "little terrors" who, if allowed to live, will cripple our education, military training and prison resources.

Purge the ranks: Have the Attoney General fire everyone who ever got sick as a child.

Press Red State buttons: "Children are naked products of Original Sin who suck on your wives' exposed nipples! Let them live -- or die -- with their lifestyle choices."

Prey on fear: "Did you know that more than 99% of all children born in the U.S. enter our country without papers, without employment, without names even? They'll replace us in our jobs and overtake our cities. In seventy years time, this country will be controlled completely by these children."

Blame the liberal media: "The kid-controlled media doesn't tell you that SCHIP takes money from cigarettes and the war, both of which, by killing people, lower the cost of health care for everyone."

Smokescreen: This is only Bush's 4th veto. He has to use them all up. They're like vacation days.

Whisper campaigns: Ask everyone, "Would you be more or less likely to support expansion of SCHIP if you knew these children were al-Qaeda operatives with secret black babies?"