McCain Blames Gay Sweaters

So I guess John McCain is blaming his fall from the top tier of presidential candidates on sweaters that made him look gay.

Nope, not the walk in the Baghdad market, his support for a ridiculous war, his flip-flopping on evolution, abortion, Falwell, Bob Jones, campaign finance reform, lobbying reform and every other issue.

Not his temper, his ambition or his obstinence. Gay sweaters have done him in:

In the final days of his imploding candidacy, John McCain has taken a page out of Richard Nixon's play book, finding increasingly bizarre explanations for his political failures. Strangest of all: He reportedly feels his handlers forced him to wear "gay sweaters."

According to one insider, the knit-picking was the crescendo of a tirade by the Arizona senator, in which he blistered aides about the minutiae of the campaign. While many septuagenarians live in a perpetual state of sweater weather, McCain reportedly declared his frustration with being told to don the perceived homosexual outerwear in order to look younger and more approachable.